It’s been a roller coaster ride already. Only a few months into this New Year. Feels so old, so yesterday’s news. Each passing day like the one before. Moments, glimmers of beauty and love flashing by us as we rise and sleep and rise again.
Today I woke up blessedly happy. With a radiance that illuminated like an orb guiding me through the morning motions. Could feel its swell inside me, this happy. I don’t want it to leave. Willing it with my mind. Filled to the brim. Don’t deplete me again. Pleading and begging to an otherworldly entity to have pity, to take my penance and let me stay in this state of bliss.
I think of Casey’s post yesterday. How happy I am at her happy. How letting her words glide over and through me gave me hope that I can be as lucky. She made it. They made it. I can make it through these swallows that take me prisoner. When I lose sight of the now so caught up in the then. When I am without words.
This weekend had record heat for a Minnesota March and allowed me to bask in the sunshine and joy of these adorable faces. It pains me that I can be filled with so much sadness and emptiness when surrounded by their boundless energy.
But I won’t dwell on the then. I will rejoice in the now.
And in the back of my heart and mind plead for it to stay.
Linked with Shell’s Pour Your Heart Out