Archive | 5:12 pm

Yesterday. Today.

16 Dec

cour·age/ˈkərij/ Noun: 

    The ability to do something that frightens one.

    Strength in the face of pain or grief.

Where does one find courage within themselves? Do we have a reservoir hiding in the crook of our elbow, behind our knees, in some other hard to reach often missed spot?

I am digging to find it. My hands are raw and torn, the dirt tucked deep under my fingernails. But I am left empty handed. Instead this thumping heart. Instead this nervousness parading through my blood stream. Where is this courage you speak of?

Yesterday, I read a statistic that 1 in 5 women have been raped.

My breath quickened.  The sharp intakes of air rushing through my lungs.

Yesterday, I read Jo’s post on ViolenceUnsilenced. I had read it before on Band Back Together. I have met Jo; I have held her super adorable baby girl in my arms and smelled the top of her little blonde head. I have met this person whose courage flowed through her pores.

I read her story again with my breath on pause, my eyes unblinking.

Yesterday, I remembered.

My palms heated and moist were scrubbed furiously. My throat on fire.

Yesterday, I was silent.

Slowly the ache inside of me grew, spreading through me, cracking skin and exposing wounds long since scabbed.

Today, I pressed send.

Felt the air escape from my body, leaving me breathless and hollow.

Today, I did the bravest most frightening thing I’ve ever done.

I told a secret I have held close for most of my life.

Now, we wait.


Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,022 other followers