So previously (as recently as a few weeks ago) I was completely psyched about my impending 25th birthday. In fact, I wanted to have a birthday bonanza. I was considering party buses, room rentals, I wanted a big bash. In the end I planned on having 2 parties — one in Minnesota and one in Chicago.
Then in the last week or two my excitement for my birthday has fizzled to completely nonexistent. In addition to not wanting to go through the effort plan anything, I just don’t want to do anything. I’m completely indifferent to the whole thing. I’m almost on the brink of outright not going to Chicago (I told my mom I’d let her know this weekend) and for my MN birthday just doing something at my house.
With my new found dedication to getting out of debt I suddenly abhor the concept of spending money. And birthday parties will cost money. It will be gas to get to Minneapolis, $40 for dinner, and let’s estimate $20 for drinks. That’s $60 just for a birthday here. And Chicago? Well it’d be at least $90 in gas, and I’d estimate $70 in food for the weekend (at least), plus $30 for drinks and potential cover, $10 for taxis. That’s $200!
How can I justify spending so much? Yes, I still think 25 is an important birthday, but I’m not going to be celebrating it in an unusual way. I’ve had birthdays (or just plain weekends) like the one I’m describing. And while I’d love to spend time with my friends in Chicago I don’t know if I can continue to afford to go as often as I have been. The thing is I can’t stand disappointing people. I can’t stand disappointing people more than spending money. And I’d disappoint L, who was going to come to Chicago with me, all my friends in Chicago, my parents who wanted to see Bear.
I just plain don’t know what to do. =/