The Lure of the Coupon/Groupon/Sale

I’ve started the first sentence of this post countless of times and wind up just pressing select all – delete countless of times.

I realize what it comes down to. embarrassment. And like in my previous post — a fear of judgement.  I’ve been thinking a lot what is this blog for. Is it for me or is it for the reader? When it first began it was 100% just for me. It was an online journal. A way to keep close friends in the loop about things going on, a way to vent, a way to document my pregnancy, to complain about work. Then somehow it slowly shifted. As I gained more readers (who continue to remain completely unknown to me because of the almost complete lack of comments) I’ve changed my perspective in what I write about and how I write about it. I stopped writing for me and started writing for you.

Which wouldn’t be so bad, except for moments like this where I don’t know if I want to publicly talk about something so inherently private. That and the part of me that thinks to myself, you have no idea who these people are, maybe they’re not even people but robots that randomly venture to your site get clocked as a visit and leave before reading a vowel.

I realized when I was doing online research about the topic I found the same links over and over again because it appears as though few people are really talking about this. Well except psychology today which actually had a great online resource of articles on behavioral economics. Perhaps that’s why I would be so good at marketing because marketing works so well on me. I had to unsubscribe from every living social and groupon deal I got. Which was a plethora of different cities and editions, because I just couldn’t resist the lure of the deal. I had to get it. It was such a great discount! I wound up getting lots of things that while were in fact a good deal, but I wouldn’t have bought otherwise. So did I really save money? Sure I have a deal on fandango, the hair salon, a 3 hour cleaning service, two restaurants, the playground. But would I have bought these things before?

I unsubscribed from all the stores who have me on their email list, except BabyGap (I just couldn’t do it!), and removed my credit card from being stored on amazon because its just too easy to do one click shopping and not even think about what you’re buying (which recently on Amazon has been 5 books). Then I took it a step further. I cut up every single credit card with my name on it and put all of my store credit cards in the basement with other cards we don’t use, like our Wells Fargo card that we don’t use but have to get free checking. I realized that like the emails taunting me with the sales, my credit cards were taunting me with the fact that I could buy something regardless of the fact that I shouldn’t.

I’m a sucker for marketing. For the sale. For the deal. For the coupon. What shocked me the most looking at my statements was that I hadn’t bought a single thing that wasn’t on sale or with a coupon. I didn’t pay full price for anything and yet when you get enough items under $10, well it adds up to be a lot.

Beyond my inability to process marketing as a manipulative tool to get consumers to buy products I apparently have no self control or impulse control. I will never in my life forget when I was in Florida ten years ago with my three best friends and I saw them pass a note to each other that read “M is a fiend for instant gratification.” That note (and the fact that my friends were talking about me behind my back yet in front of me) has always remained imbedded in my memory. Its true. I am a sucker for instant gratification. I don’t want to wait and chance that it won’t be there anymore. After all I can always return it. I like things now, I like to do things now, and have little to no patience. Which is fine in some aspects of my life (I can get shit done), but not when it comes to money.

Hi, I’m M and I’m a compulsive shopper. I know it and now you know it too.

Want, Want, Want

There are so many things that I want. Which isn’t particularly a new situation for myself to be in. There are always things that I want. I mean specific items that I want not like a $63,000 Tiffany diamond necklace. Which obviously I want, more so things that I want and could easily attain and probably normally would just buy, but I’ve been good. Well not really. When I finally update how piss poor my “February Detox” you’ll see that isn’t the case. But at least I’ve shown restrain with these items:

When in Chicago, my mom had this lotion on her bedside table and I  loved it. Which at $26 for hand lotion, it better be amazing.

Co-workers in the “mothering” room said that nursing tanks were the way to go for sleeping and at home. I don’t have any. This Gap one is only $15.

I read about this book in a magazine article, and boy am I guilty of mommy guilt. Had really positive reviews on Amazon.

This book was written by an author who I’ve read before and thought it was hilarious.

I tried on this dress at H&M and I just loved the big butterflies. It was so me. But at $50, kind of a hefty price for an H&M dress.

This skirt I also tried on at H&M and really liked. $35. Also, I’m weary of buying things in my current giant size in the hopes that one wonderful day I can go back to all of my size 4 skirts I had bought 2 years ago.

I also recently bought a nursing bra at Victoria Secret that I love, but with shipping (only available online) it cost a little over $50. But boy does wearing a bra that actually fits you make a giant difference. That’s definitely something I’ve underrated as I own and wear a slew of bras in a zillion different sizes. I kind of want another one. It only comes in one color (white) so I’d basically get the exact same one. Also, it sucks because I have a $10 off coupon that I can’t use because its for in store only and this is available online only. I’d attach a link/photo but my work network claims Victoria Secret is pornography!

Also, I’m notorious for buying things for the kids all the time. I buy them something pretty much every week.  A onesie here, a shirt there, a toy, a book, silly bandz, who knows what. And they really don’t need anything else. Except now that Bella is almost 6 months old she might need some more pants and shirts in size 6 month…. Is it weird that I really don’t like dressing her in Bear’s old clothes? I mean his pajamas sure, or onesies that she wears under stuff but otherwise I don’t like dressing a girl in boys things. And they’re not very specifically boy (though some are footballs or say “worlds #1 son” or something like that), but I just rather dress her in pink, purple and other girly things =) Probably because she doesn’t have any visible hair and I don’t want people to think she’s a boy!

Deals, Discounts, Sales and more Shopping

In case you somehow didn’t know I have a problem. The problem is that I like to spend money. Actually I don’t like to spend money but I do like acquiring things and I especially like buying things for my kids or my house. In fact its quite rare I actually buy anything for myself.

I swear the UPS man knows my address by heart now because I’ve done way more online shopping this holiday season than I think I have ever done. Its so convenient! I don’t have to get dressed, and dress the kids, and schlep them to the stores and carry Bella around in her heavy ass carseat. I can just spend money while Bear watches TV and Bella sleeps in her swing. Amazing!

And this year the deals have been amazing! From Black Friday on I have seen some awesome deals. The discounts are great, and who can resist something on sale? Certainly not me! In fact I’ve wound up buying things I already bought because they were slightly more on sale then when I had bought them. Which is actually annoying. I feel like I could spend all day everyday just looking to see if stuff I’ve already bought is on sale for less than I paid. In fact I’m pretty sure I irritate some of my regular sales associates with my constant returning. However, they probably don’t remember me and it is their job to return my stuff and honestly do I care what some person who works at Target thinks about the fact that I’m returning something? No, not really. (But just a little).

That said my kids really don’t need all the things I’ve bought them for Xmas. I mean by the looks of my Xmas spreadsheet my family must have been awesome this year because Santa has been overwhelmingly generous. And the H really never buys anything for himself so I feel like one time a year I can shower him in gifts (and things he needs aka a belt that isn’t shards of leather vaguely held together). But does my two month old need $100 worth of clothes? And $50 of toys? Does Bear actually need $250 of MORE toys and clothes? Highly unlikely.

The problem is that everything individually is such a great deal, and each item is so cheap its just cumulatively that all this adds up to trouble. So what do I return???? And all the time I see other things that I know Bear would like for example Harry Potter legos because he’s suddenly become obsessed with Harry Potter, or the Shrek series on DVD, or the Glow in the Dark Crayola set. There’s so much! I know he would be happy if all we got him was the $40 Batman Castle (that was #1 on his list), but its hard not to get him everything he wants. And I want a poinsettia and those led candles at Target for the house, and maybe another blow up since two of ours no longer work…

I hate that in the Grand Casino radio commercials they call Christmas “Giftmas” it really bothers me, but aren’t I not completely falling into that trap? I love the magic of Christmas beyond just the gifts, but I also love giving gifts to my children because it makes them (well Bear) so happy. But by getting so much aren’t I  turning the holiday into giftmas? I want Bear to be excited about cutting down our Christmas Tree and decorating it not just the presents that are going to be under the tree.

Maybe at three he’s still just too young to see Christmas beyond the presents that Santa brings (or at least articulate it).

I Don’t Change

I’m grumpy, it is usually when I am grumpy that I feel compelled to write. I have had tons of ideas for blog posts but I haven’t had the time or desire to write them. I don’t have the desire to write them now either. Now I just want to complain.

Why?

Because I don’t change. And I’m sick of it. I’m sick of talking about it, writing about it, thinking about it. I should just accept it. I’m lazy, I’m greedy, and sometimes I’m gosh darn whiny. There it is America, the truth.

After being so stressed out before I decided to just concentrate on one thing which was finishing my book club book. So for two days straight all I did was read “We the Living” by Ayn Rand. And I finished it. And I liked it. And I didn’t go to book club. Why? No good reason. Didn’t feel like it.

On account of losing two days to reading and it being only a few days before my big annual Thanksgiving party (16 people this year — great success, meant to write about it) I wasn’t writing. Which means I didn’t complete nanowrimo. And I had a great idea for a story, and it was going somewhere and I was 25,000 words in and then …. I stopped.

I also stopped exercising which I was really only half heartily doing anyway, but now I just wasn’t doing at all. I stopped logging what I ate into my lose it app. I stopped weighing in on Wii Fit and I stopped going to the gym. I was only 3 days short of getting the 12 monthly visits in to get my $20 Medica reimbursement but I just… stopped.

And of course moola. I was so proud of how on top of my Christmas spending I was, well that’s because Black Friday hadn’t hit yet. Since I spent all of Thanksgiving Day alone in bed with a fever vomiting while the rest of  my family was at my in laws I was too sick to wake up at 3:30 am to head to Target. But I did venture out at 8 am. And proceeded to spend, and spend and then spend some more. I did way more online shopping this year than ever before. Damn Amazon and their lightening deals. Damn Macy’s and their half off Calpahlon pans. The UPS man is going to know the route to my house by heart pretty soon.

Bear’s been misbehaving lately. Not particularly anymore than usual, but when he used to be the golden child its still hard getting used to his occasional tantrums and his sudden “gimmie” attitude. I find it hard to say no to him (as does everyone) which only feeds his gimmies. Plus, he’s been talking back, and name calling (nothing discernible usually “something on your head” he retorts). It’s just been frustrating. In some ways we treat him like he’s 13 or 23 instead of 3 which doesn’t help. We let him stay up late with us, watch our TV shows, neglect his vegetables, not clean his room, things we should be stricter about.

Bella’s been good, thankfully. She sleeps well. Waking once at night really and once early in the morning. I have no idea how I’m going to return back to work considering that I’m used to sleeping in to 8:30 or 10 everyday and once I go to work I’ll have to wake up at like 6 am to be able to feed her, then pump, then have breakfast, get myself and them dressed and get us all to school/work. I’m not remotely excited for going back. Strange considering how desperately I wanted to go back when I first went on leave. Now I dread the day (which is less than 2 weeks away) because for the most part I like being home with them and honestly I’m going to miss them. Plus I’m nervous about the whole thing. Nervous how I look (like I’m still pregnant and awfully pale about it). Nervous I’m going to have no effin idea what’s going on. Nervous my friends are suddenly not going to be my friends. Who knows what’s happened in the last 3 months. While I’ve seen friends from other departments, my friends from my department have been surprisingly absent.

At least the H will be home any minute now and I can just check out.

Shopping in My Closet

This morning I got an email from Gap advertising their “Give and Get” coupon, which gives you 30% of any purchases at Gap, Old Navy or Banana Republic and 5% of your purchase goes towards the charity of your choice. I chose the Global Fund. http://www.theglobalfund.org/en/

So now I have this coupon… and we know how I am about spending money and coupons in specific. But I’ve been so good in the month of July at not blowing my budget that to go shopping on the 27th of July seems kind of ridiculous. Plus, this whole time I’ve specifically not been shopping for clothes (not that in reality I ever actually shop for clothes I tend to blow my money on books, dvds, anything at Target, and toys/clothes for my son) because I’m not sure what size to buy clothes in since I’m still actively trying to lose weight.

On Friday night when I went out with friends I wore a pair of new(er) Express jeans in my original size and spent the whole night pulling them up as they were too loose which makes me think I should probably invest in some clothes that fit me now. What sucks is that I somewhat recently (within last 6 mths) purchased 5 pairs of Express pants that I love (and that cost a pretty penny) which are all now unfortunately too big for me. So what to do? Buy new pants that fit now, buy pants that are tight now but would fit in the future, or invest in a nice belt? Seems like the latter is the smartest decision except I a) hate belts b) feel like belts look stupid on pants that are clearly too big on you.

I’ve still got 14 lbs to go till my ultimate goal. I imagine that’s probably at least another pant size, no?

All of this “thinking” got me motivated to try on some of my clothes that are pushed far back in the closet as they don’t fit me. Or should I now say didn’t fit me.

I’m pleased to report that all of my dresses (minus the beautiful size 4 Ann Taylor dress I wore on my 16th birthday and hope to wear again to one of the upcoming fall weddings) fit me! I wish I had my prom dress because I would certainly have tried it on (I actually have no idea where that is). I then motivated by this encouragement went on to my skirts and they all fit me (minus my quintessential freshman year ass curtain– though I’m in no hurry to wear that again) So then I ventured downstairs to where all the spiders hang out to break out my box of pants that don’t fit. Sadly, two years ago I ravaged my closet and gave almost all of my “too small” clothes to goodwill except those that held sentimental meaning, so this box was sadly a small one.

Opening it up I literally felt like I could smell the sex and alcohol that defined 2003/4 for me. Nostalgia blinded me with the smell of 151 and the sweaty trains that filled “the lounge” parties.  I was able to fit into two of my standard freshman year pants. My pink cords and my Italian handmade beaded jeans. Bliss. Sadly, my favorite completely shredded light denim size 5/6 express pants didn’t (odd since a lot of size 4s did, goes to show its all about the cut of the pants). And neither did my black pants. Ah, those pants. I could go into unnecessary detail about the torrid affairs that occurred in those, but I’ll spare you the details and instead announce happily that I think I’m 2 maybe 3 pants sizes smaller than I was in March ! Woohoo!

I realize, you can barely see the pants in some of these shots, but it’ll give you an understanding of what happened in those pants.