Christening Conundrums

So I’ve been planning Bella’s baptism in record time. I like working under pressure and deadlines and I did plan my wedding in six months so this isn’t exactly uncharted waters for me, but it’s still hectic.

My first email to the pastor at my grandma-in-laws church regarding the baptism occurred before Christmas when I found out that the new Godmother was going to be in town for a weekend in January (for the baptism of her niece that she’s also a godparent of) and that she would not likely be able to come again. Meaning she wouldn’t be at her other goddaughter’s baptism. Not good. I obviously immediately panicked at this thought and realized waiting until after the holidays was probably not a good plan. It also turns out that a) The Pastor is out of town that weekend b) They will not do baptisms on Saturdays c) They only do baptisms on the second and fourth Sunday of the month and d) that this isn’t a very nice Pastor. I learned this past weekend at The H’s cousins birthday party that I’m not the only one who shares the latter sentiment. Apparently my Aunt in law had a run in with this pastor regarding her son’s confirmation. After numerous emails with the Pastor and many that took her a long time to respond to we finally settled on a date — February 13th. We settled on this date last week. Tonight we’re meeting (why and about what I’m not certain) and she was adamant that both The H and I go and that the kids cannot go with. I explained that you know we both work full time and babysitters aren’t exactly easy to come by, so she was flexible enough to allow the meeting in the evening. My MIL is coming over tonight to watch the kids and we’re going to drive over to the church. I’m not looking forward to this and will likely update tomorrow on what exactly went down. I’m hoping my fears are unfounded.

I covered a lot of ground in that previous paragraph so let me get into more detail.

The Godparents: Bella’s godmother isn’t going to be at the baptism because she was just in Minnesota (she lives in NC) this past weekend, which sucks. After all presence at the baptism is pretty much one of the most important functions of the role. At the very least the first function. So we have a stand in who basically I’ve deemed Bella’s Minnesota Godmother (who’s my MN best friend), she should after all have someone in town who will be around for like the holidays and birthdays and such. Bear’s godmother — the Original Godmummy– makes an effort to come once a year and always buys Bear’s Birthday, Christmas and just because you’re cute presents in that one go instead of sending them for each holiday. She also always calls on his birthday. Which is great, but its also nice that Bear’s godfather is the H’s best friend and always around spoiling Bear at every turn. Who wouldn’t want to spoil him? So Bella will now also have an in state and out of state godmother. Her Aunt is also her godmother which I think is weird, after all she’s already an Aunt she doesn’t need another function but the H was insistent. I’m going to ignore that and consider only my MN best friend and the New Godmother to be Bella’s godparents.

The Date & Invitation: It took numerous amounts of prodding to get the Pastor to confirm the date with certainty. With it being so soon I need to go to print with invitations ASAP. I finally wound up emailing someone else at the church just so I could get confirmation about the date and also the time. I ordered the invitations on Monday. Originally I had gone to Target, Party City and Hallmark looking for some invitations but didn’t like anything that I saw at any of them. So I decided to go a more expensive route and get printed invites online. I realized with the time crunch I was working under having invitations printed, sent to me and then I send them out would be almost a two week process but then I discovered that for less than the cost of shipping I could have the company print the address on the envelopes (for 35 cents an envelope) and then stamp them and send them out! Genius! So I ordered from Tiny Prints which I love. I think the invite is beautiful and on the back of it we have a photo of Bella.

The Dress: So my next issue was finding an outfit for Bella. I went to Gap and they didn’t have anything (except a huge 45% off sale!), Babies R Us had a traditional Christening dress that I loved but it was $45. Then I found this dress at Carters for $5.50!!

I wound up spending more on the tights and shoes (that I got for $15 total after 45% at Gap) than for the dress itself but look at how cute these shoes are I want them.

So the baptism feels like  its underway somewhat successfully. Few more tidbits to decide like menu and cake and such, but otherwise in such a short time frame I feel quite well prepared. I even already bought Bella’s baptism gift from Amazon on Monday.

I did want to take this post in a different direction and mention why we are having a baptism which might seem self explanatory but apparently isn’t as a friend questioned me on it on twitter recently. But I will leave that to tomorrows post when I talk about my meeting with the Pastor and having watched Doubt for the first time recently.

Turkey Time!

Every single year I host a Thanksgiving dinner, its a tradition that I love because I love hosting, cooking and I’ve always wanted to have big family holidays. In many ways my friends have become my extended family since my actual immediate family is in Chicago and the rest is abroad. This year we had 16 people (including the H and I) for dinner! Luckily last winter I had purchased a giant table at Ikea so we were able to all actually fit around one table. As opposed to previous years where we essentially have a kids table and then an adults table. Plus, its interesting to see the crowd change through the years and the people who have been at our dinners since the beginning!

I, of course, went overboard and even though all 14 people were assigned foods to bring I decided to make a lot of additional things besides just the turkey and gravy. I made spice cake, green bean casserole, home made rolls, corn on the cob, cranberries and Italian Sausage stuffing. So yeah, a few more things than just turkey! We had an abundance of food, but honestly we didn’t have the same kind of leftovers that we’ve had in the past.

Here’s the full menu:

• Homemade Bread Rolls
• Pear and Apple Salad with Raspberry Vinaigrette
• Corn on the Cob
• Green Bean Casserole
• Cheesy Potatoes
• Mashed Potatoes
• Butternut Squash Dumplings
• Italian Sausage Stuffing
• Cornbread Casserole
• Vegetable Medley
• Glazed Carrots
• Herbed Turkey and Gravy
• Pumpkin Pie
• Chocolate Pie
• Spice Cake
• Lots of Wine

I like cooking and  lately (being the last 10 weeks while on leave) I’ve been cooking up a storm. In part to take up time and to save money on not eating out, oh and also so I eat healthier to lose weight. There are so many good reasons to eat at home and to cook and I’ve been really enjoying it. But the issues are that ingredients cost money, and well its hard to cook for one person or if I’m cooking for the family to cook things that don’t have vegetables or onions or really anything with flavor because the H eats a carnival diet.

So that makes it really difficult to cook.

Which is why events like this are so great. I get to cook lots of food with vegetables! For a crowd of people not just myself!

I also spent a ridiculous amount of time getting all Martha Stewart for the event in decorating the table and even went out to the dog park to search for more pinecones and such for a place tag holders and other decorations. I tried to capture it all in pictures but honestly I couldn’t quite get it right. Candlelight is so much prettier in person than photographed (at least on my 7 year old digital camera!)

What was also great is that I wound up with food poisoning on actual Thanksgiving so I missed the whole dinner since I spent the day feverish in bed, alone, vomiting and generally cursing TGI Fridays. So having had the party was great because in many ways I already had my thanksgiving and I was just missing a not as good part II.

Birthday UN-excitement

So previously (as recently as a few weeks ago) I was completely psyched about my impending 25th birthday. In fact, I wanted to have a birthday bonanza. I was considering party buses, room rentals, I wanted a big bash. In the end I planned on having 2 parties — one in Minnesota and one in Chicago.

Then in the last week or two my excitement for my birthday has fizzled to completely nonexistent. In addition to not wanting to go through the effort plan anything, I just don’t want to do anything. I’m completely indifferent to the whole thing. I’m almost on the brink of outright not going to Chicago (I told my mom I’d let her know this weekend) and for my MN birthday just doing something at my house.

With my new found dedication to getting out of debt I suddenly abhor the concept of spending money. And birthday parties will cost money. It will be gas to get to Minneapolis, $40 for dinner, and let’s estimate $20 for drinks. That’s $60 just for a birthday here. And Chicago? Well it’d be at least $90 in gas, and I’d estimate $70 in food for the weekend (at least), plus $30 for drinks and potential cover, $10 for taxis. That’s $200!

How can I justify spending so much? Yes, I still think 25 is an important birthday, but I’m not going to be celebrating it in an unusual way. I’ve had birthdays (or just plain weekends) like the one I’m describing. And while I’d love to spend time with my friends in Chicago I don’t know if I can continue to afford to go as often as I have been. The thing is I can’t stand disappointing people. I can’t stand disappointing people more than spending money. And I’d disappoint L, who was going to come to Chicago with me, all my friends in Chicago, my parents who wanted to see Bear.

I just plain don’t know what to do. =/

Hostess with the Mostess

Last night I had my annual Thanksgiving dinner and it was great. I just really really love hosting parties. I don’t know why, but I always have. I used to want to do it professionally; be a wedding planner or party planner. On some level I still wouldn’t mind doing it professionally, the little work that I do with events at the Museum is one of my favorite parts of my job. The thing is, I like hosting events for my friends not as  much throwing parties for other people and their friends.

If I could I would go really overboard with these parties. It’s pretty hard to contain myself as is. In fact this is the first year that I didn’t buy anything for the party (dishes, decor, linens, etc) though I was quite tempted to buy a bigger dining room table to accommodate everyone. I quickly learned that hosting such large dinners is quite expensive so I have them potluck now. I was only supposed to do the turkey and gravy this year, but obviously I couldn’t contain myself and also did a spice cake, homemade pull-apart rolls, homemade cranberries and a salad. My salad was actually amazing. Pancetta, Apples, and Walnuts YUM! I tend to always mix like 4 recipes together to create something which is what I did with the salad (and turkey and cranberries) and it turned out great. I didn’t need to take on the extra dishes (we had an absurd amount of food) or the cost of extra food, but I really wanted to and I really enjoyed cooking.

I think its because growing up it was just me and my parents so holidays and family dinners (which lasted like 20 minutes with the TV on) weren’t exactly special. So when I get to sit at the head of a table surrounded by 10 other people I love enjoying food and conversation its just really great.

In the end this is what the 11 of us ate (my fridge is full of leftovers):

• Rolls and butter
• Walnut, Apple and Pancetta Salad
• Pull-apart rolls
• Sweet Potatoes
• Mashed Potatoes
• Cheesy Potatoes
• Green Bean Casserole
• Stuffing
• Apple and Herb Stuffing
• Cranberries
• Jalapeno Cornbread
• Corn on the Cob
• Turkey and Gravy
• Chocolate Pie
• Pumpkin Pie
• Spice Cake
• Cookies
• Vanilla and Chocolate Ice Cream

It was a BIG meal.

Sadly, then we played Squabble and the girls lost twice. It was depressing.

I Apologize for Whining

I hate whiny posts (yet I write so many of them) and I only feel whiny like 1% of the day, but its usually that 1% that I indulge in blogging about them because writing makes me feel better!

So I’ve lately (being the last 3 days) have felt somewhat conflicted again about all the various friendships I have scattered around the US. I have a few key friends that I know I can depend on for life and limb and I love them, but I find myself surprised at how many friends once held that position and no longer do, or that the people who hold that position now, I would never have imagined a few years ago. I suppose that’s the nature of friendships. Like relationships and like yourself they change and morph through time. It’s just interesting to look at them flat on a page and see how they’ve shifted through the times.

Three of my closest friends from high school and most of college I realize now, don’t remotely know who I am anymore. And in some cases, I don’t even want them to, or perhaps I’m afraid to go through the efforts since our relationship is so grounded on who I was (and who they were, have they changed? I don’t know.) And its weird, because I had invested so much in them because they have such important titles in my life and yet, when was the last time they called me? (or I them?) what was the last email we sent? (was there even one?)

Then I have all of these friends (I’d say 50% of them) in this weird category of “friends.” Quotation marks needed. I like them, I like spending time with them. I find them interesting and funny, but I’ve never spent time alone with them. I wouldn’t even know where to begin with that. I’ve never initiated it and neither have they. So we’re friends by proxy (because we have the same close friends) or we’re friends thru get togethers/parties. But are we really friends?

Then there’s also this weird category of friends (that overlap with “friends”) that are all exes of some sort (I have this strange knack for still being friends with 95% of the people I’ve ever kissed or slept with) which blurs the lines because on some level we know each other on a really intimate level (however drunken) that binds us together, but that is based on something that happened so long ago, yet we’re still united by it.

So I often find myself feeling friendless on some level. Because the bestest friends I have are so far away from me, and yes I go over my minutes by talking to them for an hour at a time (so worth it) but they’re not physically here. And when I go places, like Chicago, I’m mixed in this group of “friends”, exes, and my best friends, and my former best friends, and I’m all scattered about in how I feel because I’m interacting with so many people on such different levels. Or when I go to Omaha and I’m surrounded entirely by “friends” whom I realize just how much I could miss if given the opportunity, or how great of friends they could be, but its all just so unrealized.

I feel a great sense of unfulfillment because of this. This lack of strong relationships (especially with women) that I have here. Like for example (this is where the whining will find its place) I sent out an invitation on facebook to Halloween party I hold annually (and if I say so myself, last year was awesome) and yet no one has RSVP’d. I get it, everyone’s waiting for someone else, but right now no one has responded and it makes me feel quite pathetic. Which I hate.

Or like I get the fact that its difficult for people to travel, but I come to Chicago every 2 mths, because its worth it for me to spend the money (that I absolve the entire cost of and can’t split with anyone) in gas, food and liquor and to take the time away from my family. Yet, with the exception of 2 friends who visit me every year, no one else ever really has. Ever. Yes, its easier for one person (me) to go visit multiple people than for multiple people to come visit one, but really, really?

Sigh. Sometimes I just wish I could start over.