I would like to complain

You see I have like a million and one things I need to blog about, but I don’t have the time or energy to do so. I just really need to complain right now. If it was remotely socially acceptable I would have a full blown out tantrum in my office equipped with flaying legs and arms, shouting, and general unacceptable behavior.

Why am I so miserable? Well for the most part I can’t tell you. BUT what I can tell you is that currently my left contact is inside out which is preferable to it being in correctly because that makes me want to put a giant ice pick in my eye. It’s also preferable to what I was doing 10 minutes ago which was soaking it in a solution filled coke cap while I remained blind in one eye and really pissed off about it.

So its only 9:30 and I have 8.5 fucking hours of work left. I have PTO but I’m trying to save it. I’m like ridiculously parched. Like been in the desert for 10 years thirsty. But I’ve drank an entire bottle of water in the last hour to no avail! Nothing I do seems to make me feel better.

Oh and some jackass with a plow made my mailbox disappear. Just poof in the air disappear, gone forever, along with all the mail that was in it since who knows the last time I got the mail. I’m not expecting important things like my license plate stickers or my tax refund or any of the other things that could be buried deep in one of my neighbors snow piles or wherever the lovely snow plow man decided to take my mailbox after knocking it off its post.

I’m weighing the responsible thing to do (stay at work) versus what is likely to keep me the most sane (go home) and its a complete toss up. I’ve been more miserable on days I did stay at work, so I feel like I should tough it out for a day when I really can’t function. But I have to say my sanity is at its brink right now despite my physical capacity not being too impaired.

(I’d like to note that my contact is back in the coke cap, being blind in one eye is definitely a physical impairment, eh?)

TFLN Tuesday

This is going to be a BIG one since I missed last week! Brought to you by TFLN.

(605): So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
(720): This is a whole new level of slut for you….do they smell ok?

(856): He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?

(941): so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.

(252): Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
(919): Are you talking about my vagina?

(502): Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity

(720): She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said “chaser.” This cant be real life.

(818): I only make drug deals in a British accent. It’s my way of making sure it doesn’t get too sketch.

(815): i woke up with a grocery list signed by “the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out”

(215): what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
(1-215): 6 min

(410): i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as “rude”
(913): did you yell “are you not entertained?”

(702): As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, “what? No alcohol today?” have I really earned THAT reputation?

(908): I’m eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.

(585): My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.

(616): You are an asshole
(574): haha sleeping beauty awakes.
(616): Where did you find this costume?

(612): I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical

(201): If a man’s penis is referred to as “the family jewels” does that make a woman’s vagina a jewelry box?

(612): no, i’m not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.

(219): rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them

(516): …so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
(585): hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
(516): is that a “i laughed because im fine with it” or “im a republican” ?

(443): Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.

(425): im bored tell me something entertaining
(206): You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.

(914): Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
(1-914): It’s the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you

(206): I fucking love fucking science majors– she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.

(518): alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
(1-518): dude. you drew those with your dick

(770): I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund… totally worked

(970): Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I’m about to set my cock on the table between them and label it “tie breaker”

(260): dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
(1-260): what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing

(661): the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said “oh, you’re hot.” and went back to sleep.

(631): so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
(631): what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK

(727): and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.

(707): he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting

(803): Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?

(705): dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant

(646): lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact

(904): I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.

(215): you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could ’set it free’.
(215): we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.

(407): she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store

(330): Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone

(225): wtf
(1-225): I’m guessing you saw the bathroom?

(224): finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.

(661): Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don’t shut up.
(1-661): What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was “how”

(847): just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out

(817): so I finished the entire bottle…next thing I know, it’s 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.

(715): In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, “Some dude somewhere is unhappy.”

(647): The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It’s ballsy because her vagisil is on display.

(973): $22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
(1-973): math is fun

(864): you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night

(708): She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she’s got her clit peirced n I just got laid

(937): I did something last night that I shouldn’t have, but I don’t want to tell you because you’ll probably just make it your fb status…
(1-937): I see you’ve learned your lesson.

(217): Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
(1-217): Don’t worry about it.

(914): She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.

(603): I just saw the nastiest chick.
(1-603): Where?
(603): woke up next to her… fuck you jack daniels, fuck you

(850): By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever

(850): The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.

(612): and then he said “my sister has the same underwear!” please come get me.

(703): okay, prove you’re not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
(1-703): I am sober. Because I don’t drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?

(805): woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: “brreakfdast..pork and ice cream.”

(612): I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn’t cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.

(702): I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.

(270): He told me he wanted to break up so he could get “closer to God.”
(1-270): Does God suck his dick?

(740): Hi, my name’s audrey!
(614): Max?
(740): Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.

(785): Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.

(814): he told me he wanted to get “words” tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..

(314): hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
(573): pat the guy you slept with
(314): still need a last name

(256): I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up

(408): She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don’t respond to this because she’s the perfect girl. I’d love to smell her cell phone after that.
(717): I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother…

(203): I just figured I’d let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night

(813): y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you’re going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.

(661): i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
(951): u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
(661): i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u

(920): dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
(1-920): no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
(920): he wasn’t. neither were you.

(847): i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her

(847): i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding

(440): sarcasm needs its own font

(925): So in our children’s lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where’s waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.

(804): Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend…so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
(571): was that a mass text??

(636): ra ra ra ah ah
(573): wtf?
(636): sexting lady gaga style

(613): So, right as I’m cumming, I pull out and go “PYEW PYEW” like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.

(317): sorry I didn’t call you. I had your number saved as “girl that offered bj but didn’t follow thru”.

(843): woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur

(401): after I pulled back my foreskin she said, “cool like a transformer”. I really like her now.

(302): Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life

(347): I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
(347): I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN

(843): she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for “rough nights”.

(940): She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.

(445): We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off

(801): let me put it this way. im never saying “join in or get out” again unless i know whos in the room.

(407): my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.

(775): My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar…the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.

(541): So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!…..yeah kinda akward

(508): They were so slutty we had to play “rarely have I ever.”

(305): Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I’m not coming.

(614): she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.

(906): i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?

304): my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.

(931): my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.

(217): So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying “I just dont want you to be angry” and on my way out she was saying “I have the side effects sheet right here” Someone started the semester off classy

(541): No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.

(613): I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You’re welcome.

(609): I’m in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom’s clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear… now it looks like she sharted

(612): a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I’m going to miss the midwest.

(260): He went soft
(631): Wait. During?
(260): Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.

(207): Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night…..
(617): I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11

Ew Heidi

So slightly behind on the times about commenting on this. But Heidi Montag GROSSES me out. I’ll admit I watch the Hills occasionally when its on MTV. It’s a guilty pleasure, and prior to meeting Spencer (the epitome of a douchebag/tool) I thought she was pretty great. Even with evil Spencer I still somewhat liked her, but now. Well. Ew.

She was always beautiful even prior to her first plastic surgery when she got a nose job and breast implants. But this last time, at twenty fucking three she got 10 different plastic surgeries. She looks beyond fake and gross. It’s gross that someone so beautiful and young would elect to do ridiculous things like have their ears pinned back. Or spend such ludicrous amounts of money when she could’ve donated it to say, Haiti, but just the simple fact that she is so proud of herself and “obsessed” with plastic surgery that grosses me out.

What is she going to look like in 20 years if at 23 she thought she needed 10 procedures?

Watch this ABC video in which she barely moves her face, proudly discusses her surgeries, skims the question about what kind of message she’s sending to young girls, and refuses to sing (but spent 2 million of her own dollars to produces her debut album cleverly named “Superficial”. It’s probably because if you listen to the songs you’d see that 90% of it is computer made)

Retraction

So in my post yesterday bitching about my MIL I complained about her forgetting my birthday. Well, I need to take that back. I feel bad about it, especially since I should’ve waited until after my birthday to make that assumption. It’s just that usually she plans things like weeks ahead so it was unusual that it wasn’t acknowledged until the day before.

So we’re doing a birthday dinner (at Granite City, yay!) on Friday.

1 point for the MIL. -1 for me.

The MIL

So my mother in law… as I alluded in this post I’ve been meaning to update about her escapades.

When the H and I were just friends in college, he always complained about his mom and without knowing her I sort of hated her for being a bitch. Then when we started dating I met her and thought she was super nice. What was the H talking about? She’s great! Then we got engaged, then we got married and while she would irritate me occasionally I still stuck to my original impression from 6 years ago. That was until apparently our “newlywed period” wore off and she decided to show her true colors.

While we were in Mexico in early December my parents came to Minnesota for a week to watch our dogs and Bear (a task the H’s parents despite being nine million times wealthier than my parents and living in the same state as us would never remotely even consider offering to do.) my MIL and FIL came over to help snowblow/shovel because of a big snowstorm. I later learned over Christmas from my mom all of the things that the MIL had said about me.

First of all, what kind of psychopath thinks that she can bitch about someone to their own mother? Really like my mom wouldn’t tell me? My mom and I might not get along well at all, but really!

I’m going to try not to get too frustrated as I continue.

So apparently there were 4 separate things that were mentioned that irritated me.

1)      She continued to repeatedly ask my mother if I was happy. Because apparently people who are happy would never go to Chicago for a weekend to see their best friends. Clearly it’s a crime for me to want to be apart from my family for a mere 3 days to see people who I only see for 3 days every 3 months or more! Who for all intensive purposes I think of more as my family than as my friends. Her specific example was how I could dare be apart from Bear on Halloween! I mean such an important holiday! And he’s 2 years old! He’s going to remember it FOREVER. Okay Bitch:  A) Halloween isn’t a real holiday. B) He’s 2 and went to bed after trick or treating at one house.  C) Best friend’s 25^th birthday will ALWAYS trump Halloween. I do not remotely regret my decision ONE SECOND.

2) She said we take crappy care of our house. Okay, I can give her some relative slack with this one. It’s hard for us to work full time jobs, have two dogs and a toddler, be 24 and really care about some things. Like perhaps the lawn waits an extra week to get mowed. Or we don’t regularly clean up the dog crap in the yard (we still do it, but not like after every time they go, or even every day). Her specific example is that Athens broke our kitchen cabinet when he figured out how to open it in order to eat all the contents inside. Apparently, my FIL had set aside and budgeted money to give to us for new cabinets, but she decided not to since it would be like “throwing money away” since we wouldn’t take care of them. Aside from killing my dog I’m uncertain how I could’ve prevented him from opening the kitchen drawers while I was at work. Second of all, if/when we replace the kitchen cabinets there’s not going to be much I can do to prevent the dog from doing it again (other than not putting food in them as is our current practice). He’s a dog. He’s home alone, he’s hungry, he’s smart, he’s mischievous if he wants to open a kitchen cabinet, well he goddamn will and I’m pretty sure that doesn’t make us bad homeowners (perhaps bad pet owners).

3) Our house is “filthy” Now anyone who knows my mom can tell you that she’s a crazy neat freak. Her house is as impeccable as a Pottery Barn showroom, but she thought that my MIL went overboard with this statement. She even mentioned in our defense that she vacuums every morning and evening to keep all of Elia’s hair in check. There is no way in hell I’m vacuuming twice every day. First of all, our house really isn’t that messy. I promise you, come over uninvited and check. Second of all, she’s not very clean herself! There’s always clutter when we go over there. Third of all, are you kidding me? Yeah our house could be cleaner, but filthy? She also specifically made the comment, “I didn’t think my son would live like this.”

4) The H helps around the house too much. What sexist world does she live in that it’s my sole responsibility to clean the house? What about her son? You know the guy who causes 95% of the mess not caused by the dogs? The guy who doesn’t put his dishes in the dishwasher (or sink), who leaves his clothes on the floor, whose never cleaned without being asked to (but to his credit, always usually does then.) Um, I’m not his slave woman. I clean up after him enough as it is, I’m not upping that. We each have our own days with Bear were we’re the sole responsibility for him and yes, on the weekends the H might take care of Bear more than I do, but that’s because I’m usually cleaning, and maintaining our finances, grocery shopping and doing all that other crap to maintain a household. This isn’t 1950, and I promise you I’m not June Cleaver.

So after hearing about these four things I was obviously pissed. More pissed because I wish the H would say something to his MIL, but to his defense she’s never actually said to us (which in my opinion makes it worse.) However, I think she’s somehow picked up on the fact that I’m not feeling warm and fuzzy towards her and she’s now being a bitch to me. Which logically makes no sense. If someone’s angry towards you, being mean to them isn’t going to help.

She’s also completely ignoring my birthday (which is tomorrow). Every year we always go out for dinner, but this year apparently we’ve stopped the 6 year tradition of birthday dinners. At my 25^th birthday. Though I’m pretty sure in 2 months when it’s my sister-in-law’s birthday we’re going to go out to dinner. So I’m quite pissed about that too.

Ugh. When I can move to California and not have to deal with her?

Also. No joke. She calls the H at least once a day, every day, almost always during dinner.

Dog Trouble!

So I’ve been hesitant to write about this for some time now. Mostly because I’m certain it makes me look bad. Sigh. I love my dogs. My love for Athens (going to be 5 in May, Weimaraner) is like the greatest love between a person and their dog. After all, Athens almost died as a puppy and I did everything I could and threw all the money I could to fix him, and I did. He’s however not the best behaved dog, at all.

Let’s recall the list of things he’s eaten (which should now be appended to add glass) or this post about the bad things they’ve done. He eats anything and everything. In fact, he once ate everything in our pantry after breaking the door open. He sleeps in our bed, under our covers ideally. He failed puppy school and had to go again. He pulls the whole time he’s on a leash. But as he gets older he’s continuously better behaved. Before Elia he stayed home alone without incident for months (minus the pantry incident).

Then there’s Elia our “new” dog. In a few weeks we’ll have had her for a year. I have to say it took me a really long time to like her much less love her. I think its because I love Athens just soooo much. But she’s grown on me. She’s fuzzy and cuddly, and totally crazy about me. But she’s not that well behaved either.

She poops and pees almost everyday in the house, and sometimes at night. She’s over a year old at this point. And she’s definitely potty trained. This happens when we’re not home. Perhaps because we’re gone so long, or perhaps out of spite. We used to keep her in a kennel until Athens chewed her out of it (though I’m beginning to wonder if she did it herself). Then we kept her in a new kennel. One that she would flip over, crap through the slates and then rub it into the ground by moving her kennel around. (Can you even imagine how disgusting that was to clean up on a frequent basis?) Then she broke out of that kennel and chewed her way through the wooden baby gate at the top of the stairs to get upstairs to Athens.

We stopped kenneling her at that point. It wasn’t worth the $100 for a new one. We’ve come up with many devices to block off the entrance to the basement (where she prefers to do her business, on the carpet, right next to Bear’s toys) but eventually she/he/they figure out how to open it.

Tuesday I came home to a poop and pee in the basement, a poop in the living room, assorted unidentified items chewed and Athens my 90 lbs dog hanging out on top of my glass coffee table. I freaked out. I cannot do this anymore. These dogs need some serious Cesar.

Now, I know a lot of it is our fault. We aren’t consistent with rules. Perhaps we are gone too long during the day. But because they don’t do any of this while we’re home I distinctly feel like they do it entirely out of spite. They know what they’re doing is wrong. I can tell when I walk in the house and they look at me all forlorn with the ears tucked back.

I don’t know what to do. Nor can I really afford to do much. I would never want to be one of those people that give away their dog. Even though Elia is trouble (in a way Athens never has been) I’m not prepared to give up on her, but I’m getting to a point where I don’t know how much more I can handle, or how much more I can afford to lose through her destruction.

What to do?

TFLN Tuesday

By TFLN:

(610): There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I’m not safe here.

(630): his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass

(978): saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
(1-978): well apparently not.

(419): I woke up to a text that said “You’re a fucking asshole” Why is she so pissed at me?
(937): Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming “THIS IS SPARTA” and kicking him in the balls.
(419): Is that considered a cock block?

(908): He came all over my face… then said “YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!”
(973): What’s this douchebags name?
(908): Rob…

(814): dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
(808): worker bees can leave….even drones can fly away….the queen is their slave
(814): nevermind….I’m on the way

(407): he said i took off my shirt and wrote “help HATI” on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me….. i’d like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse

(843): He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.

(612): I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.

(404): A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.

(613): I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.

(305): Party in the USA is so catchy!
(863): Yea, so is AIDS.

(802): I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.

(847): At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.

(815): Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again

(813): The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said “oh it’s you”

(928): I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire… I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.

(970): just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address….

(860): my vagina’s been through so much this weekend
(1-860): you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?

Second Job, Ugh.

So while I’ve been talking about it forever I’m finally getting on top of actually looking for a second job. Something I decided I had wanted to do in August! I can’t imagine what it would be like for someone whose looking for a real job. Just looking for a part time job is time consuming and frustrating.

I wish more jobs were available with online applications. 75% of the places I looked told me to apply in the store. I’m getting a hand cramp just thinking about it.  So far I’ve done the following:

• TGIFridays
• Applebees
• Old Navy
• Express
• Borders

Honestly, I’d be happy to work at any of those places, and they offered online applications! Brilliant! All the other restaurants/stores in Woodbury are a handwritten application in store.

Why is this so difficult?

Also, how much will life suck working two jobs? Ugh. I just need money!

I Want to Quit the Gym!

Well not really, but that makes me think of a Seinfeld or Friends episode. I feel like they both had episodes about trying to quit the gym. Side tangent: I actually did unsuccessfully try to quit the gym in December. For Christmas the H’s gave us money that we used to purchase this treadmill. Since we mostly just do the treadmill at Gold’s (which we really liked and had a great deal at) we decided it was unnecessary to keep the membership. Apparently though I signed a one year contract so we’re technically still gym members thru February even though neither of us have been to the gym since like September. Though I should really go back to yoga which I really enjoyed while I’m still a member!

Anyway, what I actually want to quit is my therapist. Though I have absolutely no idea how to do that. I’ve never been in therapy before and while on some level I think going for the last year and change has been helpful (I think I’m in a better place) I also don’t feel like I’m getting anything out of it anymore. Not since this post. I saw her yesterday and basically we just shot the breeze the whole time because I didn’t really have anything to talk about. I don’t particularly want to pay a $25 co-pay for a conversation I could have with one of my best friends or really anyone.

We talked about my MIL (whom I need to blog about), the H’s and my plans to move to San Diego in 5 years, my baby fever and that’s pretty much it. Nothing I wouldn’t tell everyone around.

So how do I say “I’m better now” and end it? I sort of want her to be to say it.

Birthday UN-excitement

So previously (as recently as a few weeks ago) I was completely psyched about my impending 25th birthday. In fact, I wanted to have a birthday bonanza. I was considering party buses, room rentals, I wanted a big bash. In the end I planned on having 2 parties — one in Minnesota and one in Chicago.

Then in the last week or two my excitement for my birthday has fizzled to completely nonexistent. In addition to not wanting to go through the effort plan anything, I just don’t want to do anything. I’m completely indifferent to the whole thing. I’m almost on the brink of outright not going to Chicago (I told my mom I’d let her know this weekend) and for my MN birthday just doing something at my house.

With my new found dedication to getting out of debt I suddenly abhor the concept of spending money. And birthday parties will cost money. It will be gas to get to Minneapolis, $40 for dinner, and let’s estimate $20 for drinks. That’s $60 just for a birthday here. And Chicago? Well it’d be at least $90 in gas, and I’d estimate $70 in food for the weekend (at least), plus $30 for drinks and potential cover, $10 for taxis. That’s $200!

How can I justify spending so much? Yes, I still think 25 is an important birthday, but I’m not going to be celebrating it in an unusual way. I’ve had birthdays (or just plain weekends) like the one I’m describing. And while I’d love to spend time with my friends in Chicago I don’t know if I can continue to afford to go as often as I have been. The thing is I can’t stand disappointing people. I can’t stand disappointing people more than spending money. And I’d disappoint L, who was going to come to Chicago with me, all my friends in Chicago, my parents who wanted to see Bear.

I just plain don’t know what to do. =/